she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
