im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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