I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
