fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
