I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
