I wish I could punch you in the face.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
