ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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