laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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