Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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