is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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