There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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