that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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