I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
