It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
