Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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