oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
