she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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