He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
