he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Randomize
