How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
