when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
