I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
