God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
