I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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