I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
