i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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