Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
