I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
