Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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