im six kinds of drunk right now
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
