There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
