No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
