Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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