did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
