How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
