At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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