Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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