then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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