pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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