After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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