It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
