i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
