I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
