I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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