who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
