My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
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