What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
