Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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