I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just gift wrapped bread.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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