One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
