Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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