I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
