I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
