talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
